Let’s talk about sex

PD James wrote ‘what a child does not receive, he can seldom later give’. Perhaps with that in mind, Zak attended the sex education class today. It’s not that the School want to discourage the poor lad from breeding; rather that he behaves in class like one of the slang terms for the male genitalia.

This was the first exercise given to the boys, to try to quell the sniggering. When drawing a crude diagram of the male genitalia on the board, the teacher commented he hadn’t done this since he was their age. It took a while for the juvenility to diminish but their eventual maturity and interest was impressive. The female menstruation cycle proved a little too much for them though. It prompted a stunned Zak to declare he will never have a wife. At least the playground insults should be more anatomically correct.

Today I was reminded of my first day at the School. A girl asked me in the canteen if it was “front or back playground today?” (there are two playgrounds in the School). She may have been the same girl who asked the same question, while I waited for my interview.

It was my first time in a School for over twenty years and my first interview for a teaching job. With all the seats occupied outside the Head Teacher’s office, I squeezed into the bright orange ‘naughty chair’. I looked ridiculous. The size of the Lilliputian chair just accentuated my long limbs, the fact I was wearing a suit made it somehow worse. A little girl came breathlessly around the corner as I waited. It had to be me she spoke to;

Girl: front or back playground today?

Me: (confused) I’m not sure, sorry

Girl seemed to accept my answer but didn’t leave.

Girl: what are you doing?

Me: I’m waiting to see the Head Teacher

Girl: are you in trouble?

Me: No

Girl once again accepts answer but doesn’t leave. A minute passed as she continued to stare.

Girl: are you a giant?

This prompted chuckles in the waiting area and it did relax my nerves. I made a mental note to thank her if I got the job.


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