“You’ve got the best job in the world” and “I feel sorry for you”, two separate comments made to me by teachers today. I wish we could all just reach a consensus about how good or bad my job is. This may speak volumes in the deciding vote, but a teaching assistant issued an “I bet my kid behaves worse than yours” challenge today. I’m glad I took up her offer. Zak’s four fights by 10 a.m. left them all behind. It also left him on the precipice of an exclusion from School.
He seemed to take it all in his stride. A stride which became more and more hampered by his refusal to do a ‘number two’ while at school. The reasons for this are still unclear, but at least after a lengthy discussion he’d established what number ones and twos are.
In fact, the only thing to show for a morning’s work was a door handle, which Zak had torn off in temper. Unfortunately this incident had happened before Zak received a minor electric shock from a door handle, promoting me to “official door opener”.
Following the mother of all freak outs, both restrainer and the restrained were tired. We settled while watching episodes of ‘Animal Face Off’. The show featured computer-generated fights between a shark and a crocodile, an elephant and a rhino and a walrus and a polar bear. Maybe it wasn’t the best choice of viewing, but better than Zak’s suggestion of ‘The Fast and the Furious,’ which he asserted was a “nice film with just a bit of pushing in it”.
The afternoon was an improvement. Zak told me excitedly about him getting a BMX bike. He asked me if the “A1” was the best model of bike. It’s many years since I’ve ridden a BMX, so I struggled to remember model types. “I think I remember the A3, A4 and B5” I offered, before realizing I was thinking of paper sizes.
We also lamented the fact he was unlucky in love. Zak likes a girl, who unfortunately likes someone else. “Ok, so the other kid is the most popular kid in School and top of the class” I thought “but can he tear off a door handle with his bare hands?”.
The previous day I had the pleasure of being on stage at the Royal Festival Hall for ‘Sing Inspiration’. I stood along with over a thousand children and teachers, singing for all our worth. I might be getting more sentimental by the day, but I’d defy anyone not to have been inspired and moved by the experience. “As long as you love me, I’ll never leave you lonely”. Lovely.