Flying without wings

They say ‘no man is an island’ but Zak finished the week doing a pretty good impersonation of one. He was marooned away from his fellow classmates, after a disruption in Assembly. It wasn’t the only disruption, as the School is ‘under construction’. The repetitive banging from the other side of the wall is causing some of the younger children to fear for an approaching Giant.

The Assembly today was on the subject of sharing. “After all, what’s more important” asked the Headteacher “chocolate or your relationship with your brother or sister?”. Judging by the muted response, the jury was clearly ‘out’.

In the stifling confines of the kitchen, Zak was listing the injuries he’d caused other children. I didn’t interrupt as I wanted to know how increasingly ridiculous he’d get, before admitting the truth. The Headteacher typically took this opportunity to walk past, just as Zak was in full flow. “I once took the back off a child!” he exclaimed. She simply shook her head.

The heat was getting to me too. I could have sworn I saw Zak wandering around class playing the maracas. He turned into a one-man band grabbing any instrument he could find. As I lead him from class it was a definite ‘No’ from me. Is it any surprise a list of names in the Headteachers’ office, had an exclamation mark next to his?.

I’ve started to encourage ‘holding our breath’ competitions, as it’s making him calmer. Even this could not prevent the part of the day I refer to as the ‘topper’. This is where his behaviour becomes so erratic, he can’t possibly do anything worse. He had just been demonstrating to me Iranian slapstick, when he decided to insult a passing girl. The result was her chasing him, with me chasing them both. We went from Iranian slapstick to the Keystone Cops, before Zak burst in Roisin’s office.

Consigned to the library for the rest of the day, Zak was finally silenced. He picked on the wrong kid for a “my dad’s better than your dad” debate. “My Dad is the High Commissioner of Tonga, he met the Queen on Monday” said his opponent. If it’s true that ‘children are born with wings’, Zak was shot right out of the sky.

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