I was enjoying the peace. Zak and I were officially not talking. I knew this by his passing of secret notes to me. This was a little less than a covert operation as there were only two of us in the classroom. “I’m not toking to you”, read the first “I’m mutating grs” the second. I suggested immediate medical advice for this one.
Once we’d made up, he told me he wanted to be known as ‘Brian’. Playing along, I chose my moniker, something equally exotic, ‘Dave’. This change of name could have been method acting on the part of Zak. An organisation called Cine Club were joining us for the day.
They began by asking the class for their favourite films. Zak trumped everyone with ‘Saw II’, putting the likes of ‘The Care Bear Bunch’ in the shade. The group then asked for short film ideas. Two were eventually short listed. One, an elaborate Science Fiction film called ‘Dr Death versus (someone)’, involved a laser fight in space. The second, involved a kid in a school library finding a treasure map and very little else. Guess which one the filmmakers plumped for?.
Zak was quickly fired from the set and flew into a rant which would have made Christian Bale blush. This unfortunate incident led to a blatant continuity error, with Zak appearing in the opening scene, only to mysteriously disappear from the film without any explanation. The kid didn’t stay in the picture.
Later in the day as Zak lay in the medical room with backache, I experienced my second bout of calm. I idly read through the medical record book and here are some of my favourite playground incidents;
Hit by inhaler
Hit with a hoop
Hit own head on desk
Choked themselves with skipping rope
Dropped plastic box on own head
Hit in face while ringing school bell
If any of these kids grow up to be Nobel Prize Winners, I’ll eat my clapper board.