Mother knows best

I had to stifle a smile this morning. Zak arrived at school wearing a scarf that only a mother would force a son to wear. With this one fatal fashion faux pas he went from King of the Playground, to Rupert the Bear lookalike. I half expected a reporter from Heat magazine to ‘pap’ him for their ‘What were you thinking?‘ section.

It was ‘International Day’ at the school, although in the morning the Head Teacher berated the person responsible for drawing graffiti on the corridor walls. I had passed the graffiti on the way in. It read ‘We all smile in the same language‘. I thought that in keeping with International Day, it at least carried a message of peaceful intent. I then noticed the word ‘SEX!’ written underneath.

‘International Day’ is a reflection of the schools’ cultural diversity with a “day of exciting, fun-filled performance and cooking”. Only one person could be the fly in the ointment. After making ‘cut throat’ gestures to any child unlucky enough to make eye contact with him, I removed Zak from assembly. Rather than miss the performances I took a leaf out of this guy’s book and chained him to a lamp post.

It was for the best. Earlier in the day he asked if Egyptians are called gypsies and told me he hates Greece. I assume he was referring to the country, but it might have been the musical too.

At the end of the day in the cramped office, Roisin reminded Zak to tell his father to send a particular form. Zak asked Roisin if she could tell me, to tell his dad. It was odd, as I sat next to them both. Nonetheless, Roisin asked me to tell Zak’s father to send the form. “Zak” I said “can you tell Roisin I will”. We all laughed, the Englishman, the Irishwoman and the Iranian. International relations had been restored.

Rupert the Bear


One thought on “Mother knows best

  1. Pingback: Anyone can whistle « Are you an alien? Experiences of a male Primary School teacher

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