One of the last things I expected to hear, first thing on a Monday morning, was “I called 911 last night Tim”. Zak stood before me in the playground, beaming like it was some feat of ingenuity, “I just dialled 911 from my mobile and spoke to a police officer”. It turns out, he just wanted to “find out how american police talked”.
The problem was now explaining why it was wrong, to an autistic child. I managed it, but it took 10 minutes (breaking the previous record of the 9 minutes it took for me to explain the joke “How do you stop an elephant squirting water?” “Tie a knot in its trunk” – I don’t have the energy to go into the difficulties I faced resolving this one).
The day had started so badly too. In the mornings I head to the library toilets, an oasis of calm (I’m regular as clockwork too). Unfortunately, there were kids loitering around for no clear reason. It remind me of a Winston Churchill quote. While in the toilet, Churchill was summoned to meet a colleague he hated, “I can only deal with one shit at a time” he quipped.
To top what was a largely indifferent day, while helping a kid with a slideshow presentation, he remarked that I “sounded like a beggar who came to my house looking for money yesterday”. To paraphrase Churchill “Never before has my skin required to be so thick”.